Minor Stuff

Blogger is buggered right now and I can't post comments. A number of high profile bloggers have been knocked off line and told their blogs are spam. Joy. Gotta love Google. Their motto is, "Don't be evil." It should be appended to, "Don't be evil unless doing good is too hard."

Anyhow...

I'd been thrilled, which is to say a little more happy than non-plussed, to hear that NBC was going to bring Wonder Woman back. Bracelets of Steel and Sex Appeal... good stuff, right?

Well, it turns out that David E. Kelly's master plan, perfect for our politically correct age, involves casting a skinny version of Rosie O'Donnell as Wonder Woman.


The hot pants are exchanged for loose tights, the cleavage... well, that's obviously being faked by a very ambitious squeeze-together bra, the post-Callista Flockhart era horizontal companion to the successful push-up bra. Look, it ain't always about the boobs, but I can recognize armpit flesh being tortured into posing as boobs. You want to make her a buffed out jock chick, that's cool. But don't take a skinny pilates chick and try to convince us dudes that she's Linda Carter's heir apparent. We're dumb about women, but we can still see.

It's soooo politically correct to take the sex appeal out of Wonder Woman. Part of the deal with Amazons is they're supposed to be... Amazonian. Capable of hitting for power, and average. Making her boney, and no offense to Rosie O'Donnell, Rosie-O'Donnell-Ugly? It just ain't right. I am womyn, hear me rawr... Naaaaah.

Anyhow, the TV gods are punishing Kelly for tampering with a good thing. Turns out the NBC execs saw the pilot and refused to greenlight the show.

Which is as it should be, if this is what he views as a suitable replacement for Linda Carter and her shiny outfit.

Sure, I know I'm being crass here, but the Chippendales ain't hot if they're wearing deep sea diving suits, and Wonder Woman ain't Wonder Woman if she's not wonderous in a way that a 1960's Italian movie director might recognize. The concept is Girlie Power, not Grrrrrrrl Power. David E. Kelly ought to rot in hell for even thinking this way. No wonder our culture is falling apart; he can't even speak in the semiotic language it relies on. Plus you just don't screw with the icons of my youth, okay? Put 650b tires on a Schwinn Stingray, forget to add the lettuce hold the mayo, or put a skinny girl in Linda Carter's suit, and there's gonna be repercussions. Hear me?

Can anybody here play this game?