No wisdom this week, except for this: There's nothing wrong with seeing that some work needs to be done... and running like hell in the opposite direction.
One for the You Learn Something New Every Day file... "Drank" is codeine mixed with Mountain Dew and Jolly Ranchers.
Yeah, they're not singing about Grape Kool Aid there.
While we're doing oddball music... a great man once said, "If it's not Scottish, it's Crap!"
That may be true. But as your Phil 101 Formal Logic professor would remind you, just because it's Scottish, doesn't mean that it isn't crap.
That's awful bad, but not bad enough to be good in an awful sort of way. Care for some good music? (Alternate intro sentence... "Speaking of good SCOTS..."
Love me some Scots.
Love me some Slayer too, because this song pretty much sums up the mood I'm in a day or so before my race...
But, life can't all be raining blood. Sometimes... sometimes it's just like an emo country song.
And sometimes it's like an Ike Reilly song, when you're promoting a cross race.
Why isn't Ike Reilly more popular? I don't get it at all.
So I'm at the liquor store tonight, the excellent Staples Corner Liquors, with its amazing supply of craft brews, vintage motorcycles on the wine racks, cheap growlers... I'm waiting to check out while this superhero of a bitch, let's call her Geometrically Challenged Woman because all superheroes need a superhero name... Geometrically Challenged Woman is screaming at the liquor store clerk, "THAT ain't no Fifth... it's a different shape... smaller!" She goes back and forth a bit with the clerk, he's polite but insistent that the thing he handed her is a fifth, and finally she asks where the fuck the fuckin' fifths of Crown Royal are kept, not them tiny ones like they got behind the counter, and he points her to the far wall, probably as a diversion so he could get me out of there. We chat as he's ringing me up, and he goes, "yeah, I work at a liquor store... how would I know what a fifth of whiskey looks like?" We both laughed and as I left out the door Geometrically Challenged Woman came back to give him another piece of her mind, presumably a tiny one since she didn't have much to spare. SO I get into my truck, I'm about to back out and I realize that Girlfriend of Geometrically Challenged Woman is sitting in the passenger seat of the running car behind me and completely blocking me in - just in the fire lane, chillin' out, along with Kid 1 and Kid 2 and maybe Kid 3 or perhaps Canine 1 of Geometrically Challenged Woman. After GCW chews the ear off the clerk for another 5 minutes or so, Geometrically Challenged Woman struts by me in my running truck, with the window down and the Tony Kornheiser Show 7:00 PM rerun cranked up to 110 decibels like P.Diddy, because the chicks all dig a guy with a boomin' system, and Kornheiser thumpin... She doesn't even look at me, doesn't look down, nothing, does the thousand-yard-stare as she walks past, gets in her car and then fucking sits there for 2 or 3 minutes bitching at her girlfriend before she finally moves, and I sat there the whole time getting closer and closer to getting out of the truck and busting out her fucking window as karmic punishment for her selfish, narcissistic and utterly oblivious stupidity. And I went so far as to remember that I had the BFH (Big Freakin' Hammer) in the back of the truck, which I will use to drive stakes tomorrow while setting up the cross course. And I thought about it but decided that if one more minute went by I'd first get out and go over and scream at her like a guy with rabies and give her a chance to flee first, before going back into the truck for a hammer to smash her windows out. It's a good example of why you probably don't want to be drunk stupid and rude around strangers because you really don't know when you're dealing with a stranger who is in a bad mood. Sure, it wouldn't be cool to hit a woman but Geometrically Challenged Woman had probably 40 pounds on me so it would have been a fair fight more or less.
For what it's worth, the small bottle of Crown is in fact a fifth, despite the fact that it's little curves make it look somehow smaller. If you look at the milliters listed on the bottle, it's the same as the normal fifth...You know, just in case you were thinking about going ape shit on some liquor store clerk about it.
Anyhow... probably going to radio silence until after the race. Try to avoid Geometrically Challenged Woman, Girlfriend of-, Kids 1, 2, and 3 and/or Canine 1 if you can help it. Instead, put a little love in it...
See you on race day.
1 comments:
Yes, 80% of people are entirely self-absorbed and inconsiderate these days. Did you honk at them to move their car or go ask them to move? Seems like the first step before escalating to smashing their skulls in with Thor's hammer.
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