Want to know why the U.S. has been able to maintain dominance on the battlefield for a long time? It's because of the dreaded Military-Industrial Complex that Dwight D. Eisenhower warned about. Not only do our corporations develop some kick-ass stuff, but they fuse it with consumer hype appeal, which makes it durned near impossible for any defense acquisitions officer, SOCOM logistics type, or earmarking Congressman to ignore.
Oakleys took off when they became issue gear for Special Forces units and some lucky duckies in mechanized infantry units - can't have horsemen sticking out the top of tanks looking like recycled mannequins with gas station shades now, can we? And nobody can deny the fusion of hipster with gangsta, with the Hummer serving dual duty carrying light machine guns for the .mil set, plus a probably heavier concentration of firepower for the rap music set.
The latest step in this trend is the DTV Shredder, a militarized, all-terrain fusion of a Segway, a skateboard, and a tank. Best of all, you can operate it wirelessly, so if your Gen Y lardass recruit is too soft to actually do any skating, all he needs to do is yank on the joystick, y'know, when he's not throwing down Doritos.
No word yet on whether the DTV Shredder has made any inroads into the rap community, though some of the more foreward-leaning tourist outfits around D.C. are rumored to be considering it as a good option for taking out-of-town geeks through the rougher sections of D.C. For now, the Shredder is available only in black options, though with all the carbon fiber hanging off the thing, it's only a matter of time before we get some nice bright color options, dimpling to reduce air resistance, and an upgraded model featuring improved vertical compliance with reduced lateral flex.