The famous Touchdown Jesus statue north of Cincinatti off I-75 was struck by lightning and burned last night. God did this because he doesn't like football much, and greatly prefers hockey.
I know this because the bible tells us repeatedly that Jesus saves. Clearly, he is not only a fan of hockey, but he plays goalie as well. (I presume He has a 1.000 save rate, nothing gets by him that is eligible to be saved).
I will say a prayer that these blasphemers find their way back to the true faith, and if they feel compelled to erect another statue, that it will show Him in the classic butterfly position.*
* It's possible that He is a "flop" style goalie but that sort of freestyle thing strikes me as more appropriate for a Hindu deity.