That video refers to:
1) A pro-abstinence Republican Congressman who had to retire after admitting an affair with a staffer
2) A Democratic senate candidate who, um, slightly made up his combat record
3) Any one of a number of pro cyclists
4) Your opinion of most of the leaders of most of our major social institutions
With this video I'm referring to:
1) Floyd Landis
2) Lance Armstrong
3) Johan Museeuw
4) Damn near every pro who raced between 1990 and 2007.
Speaking of which... What would Johan say? I smoked some righteous clove cigarettes this morning, drank a Belgian coffee (high chicory content Maxwell House, with a tablespoon of melted medium embro drizzled in for flava), and suddenly Johan's voice came to me. Here's what Johan Museeuw's Inner Dialogue would say about this latest doping scandal:
The truth? You can't handle the truth. Son, we live in a world that has hills like walls, and those walls have to be ridden up by small men on bikes. Who's gonna do it? You? I have a lower natural Power:Weight ratio than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Damiano, and you curse Virenque. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Armstrong's doping, while tragic, probably saved time. And doping's existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves time. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want skinny Italian guys flying up that wall, you need them rocketing up that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty, CERA and Autologous blood doping. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent riding something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain these things to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of propaganda white noise that Versus provides, and then questions the manner in which Versus provides it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a needle, lose a lot of weight, and climb a hill faster than your unaltered hematocrit permits. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.Yeah, that's what Johan would say. Y'know, if he wouldn't be arrested for saying it. But I'm sure it's what he imagines himself saying.
That video is an allusion to:
1) How Floyd Landis feels riding among non-doping pros
2) What Lance's ex-girlfriends all sing after they break up with him
3) How all of us feel sometimes
4) Fuck that. It's obviously how Floyd Landis feels riding among non-doping pros.
Floyd's dope revelations have me down, not because I'm surprised but because of the way so many people try to systematically destroy everything good we love and believe in. The real crime of sin, or of "sin" if you're not particularly religious, is that it covers you and your friends and everyone you know in shit. The reason we have all this moral approbation and all these rules is not to make you unhappy, but because corruption has a stench that will ultimately make the eyes of everybody in the room start watering as if somebody blasted out some red onions through a salad shooter. You can get away with a little moral rot and it may not destroy your character but when you start to have a lot of it, you harm more than yourself. Everybody walks away from you, their faith in you and in the possibility of others being good and trustworthy and admirable, somewhat shaken.
One of the things I like about being a pretty ordinary guy with pretty ordinary friends is I don't worry about all of you turning out to be major league asshole doping liars who build a career and make millions on a lie. Hey, we're among friends here, and I know a few of you have fucked up here and there. That's fine, it happens. This being a mostly local blog I get to know most of you who read it and you're kind and decent people; I can only think of a handful of real assholes in this area who I think are bad people and wouldn't want to ride with. Most of you I've met, and many hundreds of people I've raced with who don't read this, have been solid in all my dealings with them. Maybe we're not great buddies, but y'all are alright and I know that.
But anyhow, most of us are pretty normal. Why is it we're cool, but so many athletes / celebs / politicians are so frigging evil? Maybe fame does something to screw people up; maybe you have to be screwed up to achieve it. Either way, I'm not real interested in fame and fortune. I'd rather be just makin' the mortgage payment, but out there in the woods or on the road every week riding with you guys, than to be a lying rich ass doper pro with a bunch of lying rich ass doper friends and crooked bosses.
We ordinary folks have it good and should appreciate it. Ride safe on the way into work today and I hope to see you on the trails Saturday.