You gotta check out SuspiciousVans.com. You'll laugh. Then you'll be creeped out. Seriously creeped out. Then you'll laugh again. Then you'll catch yourself, and be really, really creeped out. Then you'll laugh some more.

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Ben Roethlisberger: Role Model

It is total Hoovis Bait to say this, but Ben Roethlisberger may be the dumbest man to play pro football since Nate Newton and his best friend, the Human-Sized Bag of Pot. Like ol' big bong Nate, Big Ben has also brought shame on his football team.

He is still dodging a civil suit for alleged rape in Tahoe last spring, and now stands accused of sexually assaulting a Georgia college student in a bar, "in the early morning hours on Friday." Not satisfied with riding helmetless on his motorcycle and crashing into a car (nearly killing himself and jeopardizing a winning team), Big Ben finds that it's really important to party with the ladies, particularly in bars and in the wee hours of the morning. Not since PacMan Jones was on the loose, has an NFL player's partying led to more consistently disastrous results.

Any halfway intelligent pro athlete would look at the motorcycle accident, and realize that millions of dollars and maybe a the hope of a normal life are at stake, and ease up a bit. Similarly, any halfway intelligent athlete would look at the civil suit for rape and (assuming Ben's claims of innocence are true) realize a young multi-millionaire meeting women late at night in bars is headed for disaster. Say what you will about Tiger Woods, he wasn't accused of rape, and he took a lot of steps to protect himself, even if he eventually blew it. In short, there are better ways for a young, rich, franchise athlete to meet women, ways that are less fraught with risk. A halfway intelligent athlete knows this, and takes steps to protect himself.

Alas, Ben Roethlisberger is not halfway intelligent, not by a longshot.

There should be a sign outside of Heinz Field in Pittsburgh with one of those little stacks of flip numbers on it: "No rape accusations in _ _ _ days."

I'm sure the Rooney family would really like the number to get into the mid-triple digits once in a while. Y'know, just for a change.

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Stevil Kinevil at All Hail The Black Market, has some rad bike kit for sale involving black, skeleton bull's heads, Evil, and his corporate logo. I've been needing some nice jerseys, and I think I may have to pick me up one of these.


Um, I've shown them in my size, which is 2x in a EE width. Check out AHTBM to see them in normal sizes and shapes, and to get ordering details. They look damn good, BTW, and they're made by Voler, so you know the quality will be pretty solid. You can order them here but you've only got about a week to do it, so get after it.

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Maybe I'm jaded, but watching the prologue TT of Paris-Nice yesterday on Versus was... boring as all hell. It was great to see Lars Boom and Jens Vogt ride great efforts, and good to see Levi beat up on Contador... but that was about 5 minutes of fun out of 2 hours of racing on TV. So I quit watching mid-way and left to do more exciting stuff, like blow my nose and watch paint peel in my bathroom near where the tiles leak a bit.