A prominent local racer asks on the local listserve, what's the big deal about amateur doping? Does anybody really care?
I paraphrase, but that's the gist of it. Thing is, I know of some folks around here who have doped, and as much as I'd like to think warmly about them in an uncomplicated way, I can't. I can think well of them, sort of, but there is always an issue of trust, same as I can't often ride with people who are bad bike handlers. I can't share in the unalloyed joy of a fellow racer's win, or look on in admiration without having serious qualifications that reduce "Awesome! F888 Yeah!" to "Nice race, I guess." You dope, then the glory you steal is greatly diminished thereafter, even if you do come by it honestly later on.
So I guess I could answer the prominent local racer by saying, I don't care about dopers, other than:
1) it's pretty low to screw your peers out of their moment of glory. It's called "theft of honor." Military folks have some words to describe people who wear awards they didn't acquire legitimately. They aren't flattering.
2) it's really skeevy to betray the trust and respect your fellow competitors have for you. Seriously, most racers I know really really want to win, but also think well of their peers. We all live in the same area, know a lot of the same people professionally and personally, and generally think well of other racers by default until they prove that our trust is misplaced... way to squander our goodwill, guys. The goodwill of one's fellow man isn't really appreciated normally until 20 years after the fact, at which point one feels the bitter sting of self-recrimination for having cut one's self off from fellowship with one's peers, though sometimes in a fast crit the goodwill is appreciated immediately when one needs to scootch in uncomfortably close to avoid getting curbed, and any resistance by the scootch-ee immediately results in a trip over the bars and into the ambulance.
3) it reveals that your self respect is low enough that you're willing to sell the one thing you enter and leave the world with - your reputation - for $125 and a box of stale Clif bars. Most people have their price, shoot, I'm willing to admit that I'd probably sell out a lot of things for the right price, but selling out to win a training crit or some local race that doesn't count to anybody other than the 67 guys racing in it? That is just absurd. Do you hate yourself or something?
4) I don't much like answering questions from family and friends about participating in a sport where outsiders perceive that everybody who plays is involved in #1-3. I accept it used to go on a lot but the rules have changed due to the alarming way doping has skewed competition in many sports. We've realized the error of tolerating it. People who keep doing it now are not in-with-the-in-crowd. They are out step with society and with those of us who race clean - surely the vast majority of us at the amateur level.
5) It's a matter of personal integrity, but your integrity is one of the pegs on which you, and everybody you know, rates you. If you have high integrity, you will be looked up to and admired, win or not. If you do not have integrity, you cannot steal admiration or respect the way you steal wins. Doesn't work that way; respect is something that must be earned, and cannot be stolen, and any admiration we have will be false. Then if the doper is discovered, all that admiration and respect is retracted, wiped out, replaced with scornful derision.
I know these are hurtful comments for people who do, or who have doped. Sorry guys and gals, it's the way it is. You can go back and earn our respect by playing clean, but it doesn't erase what you've done. Please don't look to the rest of us for moral sanction for what you are doing or have done; we are not the ultimate moral arbiters and cannot absolve you of it. Like the choice to pop the pill or stick in the needle, it's your choice, you have to live with the consequences; and just as we onlookers can't undo the doping conviction, the liver cancer or your lost reputation, we can't sanctify the decision by saying it's okay when we all know it isn't.
I wouldn't ask you to lie to me and tell me I'm thin, fast, and dashing; so don't ask me to lie to you and tell you doping, particularly by amateurs who really race only for the honor, is no big deal.
20 comments:
Hey, as the new local newb, what is the local listserv? Google is failing me and no one on the group rides seem to have any idea.
fucking brilliant.
fuck dirty dopers.
masters racers that dope are even more pathetic. At least pro's are trying to avoid getting a day job, not beating up on dudes working the 9-5, and chasing a passion.
respect
fm
Add in the stupidity factor. Really? Winning the local training race is worth the potential side effects from heaven knows what a few years down the line? That qualifies as either extremely stupid, or he sign of a pathetic life.
Oh and if they think they're climbing the pro ladder, well how bad a racer are you if you need drugs to beat clean amateurs. Idiots.
I think this is the best writeup I have seen on the topic. Honor and trust are truly precious commodities not easily recovered. Another great post!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikeneary/4132100978/in/set-72157622864623446/
In my mind there's a heirarchy of doping, ranked from least worse to, erm, worst worst:
1. Least heinous is the Euro journeyman pro -- this is the dude just trying to avoid a lifetime of hard labor in the fields or factory, much like the inner city kid in the US looking to do whatever it takes to be a pro baller.
2. The ProTour champion doper. This guy is doping for glory, money, and to stroke his ego. Not the worst because he has very little relevance to me.
3. The domestic US pro doper, like Papp or Leogrande (although Papp has made amends and is now a vocal critic of doping). Most likely this is a white dude from a well-to-do family who is chasing a dream. He isn't trying to escape abject poverty, and is a self-absorbed delusional trustafundian. The sad truth is he doesn't have the sauce to "make it" and will resort to whatever means necessary to do so. But what's even sadder is that myself and some of my 9-5er friends can manage to be kinda-sorta competitive against this primadonna ass-hat.
4. The worst of the worst: The amateur doper. Kenny Williams. Fucking loser. There are worse things going on in the world than amateur doping, but taking part in this tells all of us *so much* about this person's character. If he'll cheat in a sport that means nothing, where else will he cheat in life? Work, marriage, taxes, etc.? I've seen douchebags in the parking lot before industrial park crits passing an asthma inhaler around -- again, fucking losers.
In most races I do I see several riders that have served suspensions. Some I think I can trust now, others I can't. One was a high-profile bust a few years ago, he tearfully confessed, did his time like a man, and now I don't feel bad when he beats me. Another fought the charges, didn't admit, got busted again, and now I can't help but continue to think that this dude is dirty. I just want to race without wondering who in my field is "hot."
dopers are like people that cheat on there signifgant others.
some of those husbands or wives MIGHT be able to forgive them but will it ever be the same? Will they ever really be able to trust them?
As I lay on the couch with the flu yesterday, watching the 2005 TDFrance, I realized I was seeing some fabulous performances by guys like Basso, the Chicken, Valverde etc, and realized all these "Great" rides were, in many cases, dirty.
Kinda takes some of the joy out of it, doesn't it.
JM, if you're a racer, it's the MABRA listserv, a google group at http://groups.google.com/group/mabra-uscf. If you're more rec/touring, google Potomac Pedalers. If you're MTB, then google MORE MTB. If you're a commuter or bike advocate generally, google WABA. If you're into a combination of hubris and self deprecating humor, occasional brilliant insights coupled with insipid notions and nice music from the world's largest Grimpeur, check out http://unholyrouleur-jim.blogspot.com/. That's what I'd do, anyhow.
FatMarc - I don't loathe, exactly, but I can't sanction, and can't avoid condemning when the question comes up. I've had some successes - if by success you mean "sneaking onto the edge of the podium and snagging an occasional prime" in roadracing. I have to work my ass off to make it happen. I'm starting to see how hard it is to make it happen legitimately and don't like people cheating their way past others who are working hard. Blocking in a race, that's fair. Turbocharging your lungs with banned chemicals - not so much.
Anon 5:59 - the doubt never goes away, sadly. The Christian notion that we should forgive is admirable but I find as I age it is a rational exercise - I can treat people without prejudice for past errors, but true forgiveness, forgetting about it, seems to be beyond my powers. I would be happier were it not. But there it is. I actually like the guy in question - a hard worker, and skillful. But past errors haunt us until we die. If Facebook has taught me nothing else, it's that you can't get away from where you've been, ever; the Catholic notion of the Great Chain of Being has been revived in the digital age.
AH - I share your notions of moral culpability. The hardscrabble kid trying to make it is different - both in what we expect from him and what he has to do to make it - from the white collar professional who goes to a good job on Monday, who races primarily for shits & giggles.
Anon 6:55 - I wouldn't have put it that way, since I at least understand infidelity. I don't get the idea of an amateur (particularly a low cat or masters amateur) doping. While the competitive urge is strong in a lot of racers that seems unnatural.
This whole topic upsets me the more I think about it.
KOA--
He means this, from Wikipedia: "David Fuentes of California tested positive for an anabolic steroid at the Redlands Classic. He protested the USADA and controversially raced, and won, during this protest period. He was ultimately found guilty and sentenced to a two year suspension that included the year of protest in which he raced and won. He was never ordered to return any of his winnings."
I don't know Fuentes -- I'm just a dude who knows how to do a google search.
Wow. Thanks. I forgot about the all knowing google.
Don't worry Jim...everythings relative. To someone out there you're thin, fast, and dashing
AH - and let's be clear. I'm not trying to slam Dave. From what I know of him, I like him, but the Wiki cite is a good example of how a screwup can follow you. Does Dave race clean now? I certainly hope so and my interactions with him have been positive. He seems like an okay guy. I want to believe there is such a thing as redemption, and I'm giving him the benefit of a doubt. But like the girlfriend I left at a train station, the job I walked out on without two weeks notice, and some college classes I flunked, no matter how hard you try the bell never gets unrung. I did those things, he did something else, and there's no escaping it. That's the tragedy of doping though - nobody gives a crap that I screwed up a relationship, teed off on a boss and stomped out, or flunked Diff E.Q. You race and dope, it hurts every guy in your class specifically, and the sport generally, and people do care about it.
Terry, thanks. You sure know how to make a girl feel good... I still disagree with you but the sentiment is appreciated.
I don't know Dave. I don't race in the Mid-Atlantic so I don't race against him either. I was not making any statement as to his current status with regards to doping. I was simply answering a question.
But I think you and I are basically saying the same thing...
Frankly I'm surprised that this has to be explained.
"Why I hate the guy who cheats at my hobby" should be the easiest thing to understand in the world.
jim,
in your interactions with fuentes, have you ever asked him about the doping?
i do know him and im sure he'd tell you what/how it happened.
wouldnt it be nice to know the other side of the story? rather than mabra/mac jibber jabber?
as far as some one winning master elite races week after week and criticing them,as many are wanten to do, look at saunders, yozell, aspholm and bold - what about them? are they doping too?
j
Anon 2:42 - I didn't raise the subject of Dave, a reader did, and I'm not particularly interested in raising it with him, though I’m not real thrilled about the direction this comment thread is taking either. What is this – DaveTV?
I read the case (here: http://www.usantidoping.org/files/active/arbitration_rulings/fuentes%20aaa%20decision%20&%20award.pdf) and I figure it's a done deal. The facts in the record may not be the literal truth but as a record from the adjudication, they are the operational truth of the matter. I presume – and hope – he’s moved past that.
So why are people jumping to conclusions about Dave? It seems a bit unfair. I was talking about amateurs who dope and not pointing figures but responding to a question raised on the MABRA listserve that I thought was facile. That said, when I commented that people who get popped forever afterwards live under a shadow, this is what I was talking about
What I was trying to get at – and I apologize if I missed – was the "what about amateurs who dope" question - not about pros who got caught. A reader raised, and I believe incorrectly imputed - that Dave is 1) in that category; and, 2) up to no good right now. Assumptions like that are too common and wrong.
I think my readers would do well to presume that Dave races clean, absent any evidence to the contrary – and no, once you’ve been a successful pro winning lower tier races is not evidence of anything per se, except talent. If you’ve raced as an NRC pro, I’ll give your opinion greater weight, but the rest of us sit in the cheap seats and some caution is in order. We do not have a right to injure a man's reputation without cause.
Best cycling blog, period.
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