This one is for my pal Fatticus Maximus Superbus.
Yeah, that's right. It's a bacon double cheeseburger on a buttered Krispy Kreme bun. [shiver]. Stevil ever sees this, he'll max, on the spot. As Stevil notes, Butter is Not A Snack... but when you combine it with burger, bacon and Krispy Kreme, it's part of a well unbalanced diet.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Check out this photo from the open Victoria's Secret Catalog tryouts held yesterday at Yankee Stadium. And check out New York's Finest checking outthe ladies' catwalk strut New York's *fiiiinest*.
0-0-0-o-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0
0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-7-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
I did my FTP test today. I have some ideas about what the F stands for. Great result, but according to the power/weight chart provided by Training Peaks, I have the power profile of a 4.
Not a Cat 4. A 4 year-old L'il Belgians racer. The chart also warned to stay away from the 6-8 year old age group. They'd crush me. The funny thing is that I wasn't even dreading the FTP test, and when I was doing it, it didn't even bother me how awfully it hurt. I was watching birds, and drooling snot from my nose, and checking out these women jogging by, and gasping, and waving to some cops, and noticing that my legs were burning... just totally dissociated from the Boiler of Old No. 97 action that was going on in the legs and lungs. So what's worse? Intentionally hurting yourself? Or not caring that it hurts? This isn't funny hah-hah, it's "funny-what-a-weird-bunch-of-MF-ers-we-are" funny.
Wow. That's deep. I think I need to eat a bacon double Krispy Kreme cheeseburger and think about it for a while.
Not a Cat 4. A 4 year-old L'il Belgians racer. The chart also warned to stay away from the 6-8 year old age group. They'd crush me. The funny thing is that I wasn't even dreading the FTP test, and when I was doing it, it didn't even bother me how awfully it hurt. I was watching birds, and drooling snot from my nose, and checking out these women jogging by, and gasping, and waving to some cops, and noticing that my legs were burning... just totally dissociated from the Boiler of Old No. 97 action that was going on in the legs and lungs. So what's worse? Intentionally hurting yourself? Or not caring that it hurts? This isn't funny hah-hah, it's "funny-what-a-weird-bunch-of-MF-ers-we-are" funny.
Wow. That's deep. I think I need to eat a bacon double Krispy Kreme cheeseburger and think about it for a while.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Check out this photo from the open Victoria's Secret Catalog tryouts held yesterday at Yankee Stadium. And check out New York's Finest checking out
"Why am I holding my hat right there, Sarge? Um, no reason."
That wasn't a Tsunami that hit Samoa... it was just Cadel Evans tears. I understand he still hasn't stopped crying about Worlds... his loss at them in 2003. He hasn't even gotten around to crying over missing them in 2004, missing the break in 2005, having a bum knee in 2007...
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0
Hey, check out this optical illusion. I did, then made the mistake of staring at my Irish Writers poster. Holy cripes, did Samuel Beckett ever look terrifying, more than usual perhaps. So did Sean O'Casey. I might have peed my pants looking at George Bernard Shaw. Joyce looked like Joyce probably looked to Joyce in the mirror, and Behan looked like he had a huge hangover and was pulsating. Jonathan Swift... well, looked pretty much like he always does, the stiff old bastard.
0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Here, Seth Green reminds us why Showbiz People are our moral betters, and why we should listen to them when they tell us how we should live.
According to spiritual Seth's IMDB page, "God is, to me, pretty much an idea. God is, to me, pretty much a myth created over time to deny the idea that we're all responsible for our own actions."
Um, you mean, like being responsible for having a pants pissing tantrum, taking it out on the hired help, flipping a table and storming off like a 5 year-old? Okay. Thanks for the guidance, Seth.
I despise a lot of people, but as a group, showbiz people occupy a special shrine in my Cathedral of People I Can't Frickin' Stand. In a perfect world, Ted Nugent and Sean Penn would be locked in a box with Cheryl David and Oprah, and they'd be getting gnawed at by badgers. Alas!
According to spiritual Seth's IMDB page, "God is, to me, pretty much an idea. God is, to me, pretty much a myth created over time to deny the idea that we're all responsible for our own actions."
Um, you mean, like being responsible for having a pants pissing tantrum, taking it out on the hired help, flipping a table and storming off like a 5 year-old? Okay. Thanks for the guidance, Seth.
I despise a lot of people, but as a group, showbiz people occupy a special shrine in my Cathedral of People I Can't Frickin' Stand. In a perfect world, Ted Nugent and Sean Penn would be locked in a box with Cheryl David and Oprah, and they'd be getting gnawed at by badgers. Alas!
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Seeing that it's football season again, it's good that Texas Tech is ringing the bell.
0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
And the cool thing is, since Texas Tech desegregated back in the day, they're okay with brothers doin' it too.
Man, that never gets old, does it?
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
There is no truth to the rumor that David Letterman is planning to change the name of his production company to Worldwide NoPants, Inc. Maybe I'm missing his genius. If I'd spent 20 years fooling around with much younger women at the office, got caught, got near-blackmailed, and then spent the next week joking about it, my wife would shoot me, if my friends didn't do it first. Dave on the other hand? Great ratings! I don't know how he does it, but know that he must be doing something right. Besides the interns, anyhow.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-7-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
And this isn't funny... it's just damn good. Maceo Parker, horn man for James Brown, George Clinton, and his own damn self.
Here's a little more Maceo. This'll help you get over the hump today.
7 comments:
The Luther Burger.
My heart just stopped.
Hell, most of my family's hearts just stopped.
Nothing scarier than a 5'2" 125# man turning over tables.
Someone needs to take lil' Sethie over his knee and hive him a spanking. Or at least a time out.
Yeah Stevil. My reaction too.
AH - I assume that "*hive* him a spanking" is a mis-spelling... a lovely and fortunate one at that.
Yes, teh intarwebs has a wisdom far surpassing human understanding.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-o-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0
0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-7-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
??
Are you channeling Neal Stephenson, and sending us secret subliminal messages?
To lose the taste of the daily sheisse that inspired the toolbox post, I hauled my niece and nephew to school on the Dummy. Fun was had by all, and optimism started to flow.
Er, until I was 250 meters from my house and my neighbor curbed me. From the other side of the street. That's right, I was headed one direction, she the other, and she came all the way over and forced me into the gutter. Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to stupidity, so I kept it in check. It's a good thing I was on the bike, because that would have been a head-on if I'd been driving the Tacoma.
This is the neighbor that will call you in if you put your trash out before 1700, owns the yippie mini-dobermans, and parks in front of the neighbor's driveway. She's also the one who put the kibosh on ever having a block party.
...so to sum up - she almost killed me, but did not cause me to experience cognitive dissonance.
Turing word - "ineingo." Does this mean The Great Google wants me to think of Inigo Montoya, and exact a terrible revenge for the curbing ten years from now?
RTW - I think that Turing word does not mean what you think it means.
SPIT TAKE! Well played, sir!
...but - I am not left-handed, either.
Post a Comment