Thursday, October 08, 2009

My Day, If I Was on Twitter / or, Why I'm Not on Twitter

5:40 AM - is that the alarm clock, or is a Swedish iron worker shooting hot rivets into my ears?

5:41 AM - neither. Just a disturbingly bizzare homoerotic dream about a nordic clock factory. Phew. Thought it was time to get up.

6:00 AM: is that the alarm clock, or is it a homoerotic dream about a Swedish iron worker shooting hot rivets into my ears?

6:01 AM: just the alarm clock. Phew. I was starting to think I was... um... had a thing about Swedish factories.

6:15 AM: Forget to shave, a decision that will haunt me for the rest of the day's meetings with people who will look at me like a Balkan child molester. Spectacular BM though, and nice job brushing the teeth.

6:17 AM: Whew. Botched the toenail job. The one big toe nail looks like a circular saw blade, the other looks like... well... that's not supposed to be bleeding like that, is it?

6:31 AM: Downed bowl of Quaker Granola with Craisins. You don't think the spectacular BM's come from nowhere, do you?

6:33 AM: Second double of espresso. Look, I'm a junkie, I know it. I didn't come here for your pity or your buzzkill, alright man?

6:38 AM: Walked the dog. Dog looked at me like he hates me. Note to self: Stop slipping unused pain meds from foot operation into dog's food. Unsanctioned veterinary drug trials are not amusing.

6:39 AM: Oh, who am I kidding.

7:01 AM: 31 seconds of quality time with the wife, 34 seconds of quality time with the kid, bike on the truck, I'm outta here.

7:26 AM: Red and blue lights in the rearview. Wonder who that cop is chasing? Hey, didn't that anti-texting law go into effect on Wednesd... oh, shit.

7:38 AM: $265.

8:01 AM: Aaaaah, Hains Point for some intervals.

8:02 AM: Ugh. Hains Point for some intervals.

8:07 AM: That's enough warmup, isn't it?

8:10 AM: Why can't I achieve threshold power? It buuuuurrrrnnnnssss, Precious.

8:11 AM: The note I put on my stem says I'm supposed to sprint now for 15 seconds, then recover at threshold for 1:45, then go again. Okay. Here we go.

8:12.15 AM: That wasn't so bad! No sweat.

8:14 AM: Here we go again.

8:14.15 AM: Ooh, er, um, not so nice.

8:16 AM: And we're off again.

8:16.15 AM: WTF! Gng to Brf!

8:21 AM: Just ten more minutes!

8:23 AM: Fuck it. I'm going to work.

9:15 AM: Secretary looking at me funny. Perhaps I should change out of my team kit and into a two piece suit like everybody else in the office. I don't smell *that* bad...

9:23 AM: In locker room now. Only guy in here looks like some kind of Swedish ironworker or something. You don't think I'm... y'know... fixated on metalworking or something, do you?

9:50 AM: I'll just check out some blogs and stuff. Then I'll get right to work.

10:53 AM: Holy crap. Who knew Lennard Zinn wrote such interesting stuff about brake pad wear patterns, and what it says about the weave of yr. carbon fiber wheelset?

11:58 AM: Lunchtime! Sweet. Gotta beat the rush to the deli. Dieting, so watch what you eat!

12:43 PM: Crap. Should have skipped the footlong triple meat cheesesteak and the 32 ounce soda and gotten a salad. And the large fries. And that 12" oatmeal cookie was just excessive.

1:43 PM: Spectacular BM. Thanks craisins! Brushed teeth in men's room. Finally got the last of the basil out. Of the teeth, that is.

2:15 PM: Attend meeting. Boss introduces me to key client as "guy who rides bikes." Turns out, he races for NCVC and we punched each other out at DCCX last year in the first turn!

2:53 PM: Didn't get shit done in that meeting. Hooking up with Bob from NCVC for a lunchtime ride next week though. Cool.

3:15 PM: Getting close to closing time. Gotta get some work done.

3:23 PM: Wonder if they have an article about Stybar on Velo News. Haven't checked the site in nearly 4 hours now.

3:25 PM: No Stybar. But some news on Nys. Stybar - sounds like a painful eye condition. Nys - French existentialist principle meaning "speedy nothingness."

4:01 PM: Wonder if I could sneak out of here unnoticed. Probably ought to go to a team with more subdued kit like Route 1... bright blue Coppi stuff seems to get noticed by the staff.

4:04 PM: I don't think anybody will noticed that I've changed back into my kit.

4:25 PM: Commuter guy in office stops by to give me crap about being a racer. I give him crap about all the things he feels inadequate about in his life. Guess I am a racer...

4:47 PM: Close enough. I'm out of here.

5:01 PM: Cripes. How'd the boss know I was leaving. Now he wants a bunch of crap done by tomorrow. Man, I work like a slave. How the hell am I going to get all this shit done?

5:05 PM: Delegation, baby! And we're off to do a little recovery spin.

6:34 PM: Home. Man, should not have gotten sucked into that fast group at Hains. What was I thinking? My legs are shot. I'll need to rest tomorrow.

6:35 PM: What? My Powertap was off that whole time at Hains? They missed where I actually passed Butts briefly on the back straight during the recovery part (where I was L7?) Oh well, guess I can ride tomorrow. If there's no power file, the ride didn't happen.

7:10 PM: Glad I stuck to my diet so well. I rode so hard today, I don't think anybody will notice if I polish off that tub of Cherries Garcia.

7:13 PM: Or eat that pint of Wavy Gravy.

8:00 PM: Time to put the kid to bed. 'Honey, why do we have this scale in the bathroom? Let's put it in the attic."

8:24 PM: Google "Swedish" and "iron works." Hey, I'm just into industrial themed nordic stuff. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.

8:43 PM: Write blog post using hokey summarization-style narrative to expose brain-rotting caliber flaws in Twitter when used as an interpersonal communications device. Last known reader of this blog shoots self in head just to make it stop.

8:45 PM: Got to get going to bed early. More sleep = happier me, thinner me, better trained me.

9:01 PM: I'll just check out Bill Simmons' column compiling 90210 references in Simmons NBA columns over the years.

9:21 PM: Gotta hit Danzatap.

12:54 AM: WTF? I am so trd. Time to go to bed. Need to think up good blog post idea for tmrw. Current stuff brng redrs to dth.

2 comments:

Boz said...

sounds kinda like my day. Only I don't have a job, a power tap. and didn't take a huge BM. I did take the dog for a walk, though.

TerribleTerry said...

80's shouldn't be here looking for friday music anyway.