Wired magazine tells us how to stop a brakeless fixed gear bike. The instructions include:
* 1.1 Step 1: Find a Safe Place to Practice
* 1.2 Step 2: Anticipate Your Stops
* 1.3 Step 3: Choose Your Braking Method
o 1.3.1 Pace Pedaling
o 1.3.2 Skid Stopping
* 1.4 Step 4: Practice, Practice, Practice
* 1.5 Step 5: Fill out a living will
Ho ho ho. Filling out a living will. Very ironic. Very hip.
Here are some ideas I have about how to bring a fixed gear to a stop in short order:
1) Get a set of brakes.
2) On uphills
* 2.0 Step 0: Be an ironic, clove-smoking, Pabst-drinking hipster.
* 2.1 Step 1: Approach a steep hill.
* 2.2 Step 2: Attempt to ride up it.
* 2.3 Step 3: Grind to a halt.
* 2.4 Step 4: Walk up hill. Leave fixie on hill, chained ineffectually to a parking meter.
3) Ride into a car in traffic.
4) Crash when you forget to keep pedaling.
5) On downhills:
* 5.1 Step 1: Clip in
* 5.2 Step 2: Start down the hill
* 5.3 Step 3: Realize the steep hill has overpowered your leg strength
* 5.4 Step 4: Spin 187 RPM until your legs totally blow
* 5.5 Step 5: Auger in and grind to a complete stop.
Truthfully? If you have to go to Wired to figure out how to stop a fixie, you really don't have any business riding one, much less the brakeless type. Seriously, it's great that you're riding, but use that flip flop hub and rock the single speed with brakes for a while, or at least get some brakes. New riders are good for cycling. New dead ones? Not so much, unless you leave your gear to me in your will. In which case, go to town, brah!
8 comments:
damn hipsters.
well done.
respect
fm
how is the toe coming along?
There's nothing in there about setting up your 20 year old steel retro-fixie with an equally old Selle Italia Turbo saddle then attempting (on your first group ride in 2 decades) to remain smooth in the paceline downhill at 30mph on a 67".
270lb of blubber with 2 giant drumsticks flailing about at 160rpm was never on the design brief when Selle Italia built that saddle for Bernard Hinault. Thus she cracks the undershell, the gapping crack in said undershell bites the inner thigh hard enough to draw blood while narrowly missing what Lance is missing.
Not that it happened to me or anything, this was a totally hypothetical what-if.
But at least in my hypothetical scenario said retro-fixie would almost certainly be fitted with gleaming Suntour Superbe Pro calipers and non-aero levers, not dissimilar to the 1988 Columbus SLX 53cm square retro-fixie I rode into my period 3 physics class this afternoon... to spend 5 minutes discussing balanced and unbalanced forces while executing a trackstand.
Mike, whatever they got in your lab, could you send me a six pack of it?
Thanks.
Good post Jim. Hopefully the days of fixed gears as fasion accessories are numbered (judging by the fact that Wired is writing about them, they may very well be), and those of us on our regular road rides won't have to deal with the drivers the hipsters piss off...
I hope the hipsters keep riding... safely. I also hope to keep training on my fixie. I get a lot out of fixed gear training, it's the most bang for the buck in base period and when doing sprints, or if I only have 60-90 minutes to get in a hard workout.
No problem with them riding safely, along with the knowledge that running red lights and cutting off cars, probably because they're not using brakes, affects all of the other riders on the road. I agree though, that new riders are good for the sport.
Agreed. You kind of get a sense of who the actual messengers are because you see them often enough. They tend not to burn red lights unless they are in a hurry. The fakengers usually aren't quite so disciplined; I saw a guy have a very close call a couple weeks ago when he carelessly burned a light. I'm stopped there at the light, and the driver next to me shoots me a shitty look, like it was my fault.
You guys should kiss. Nothing better than a bunch of douche bloggers, who feel as though they are above the rest of the conformists. I don't know what's MORE offensive..
1.1 Fact 1: That you twits had the time to sit down and wrote about how awesome you are as riders and SPORTY individuals.
1.2 Fact 2: That you effectively pulled each other off through your SUPERB vocabulary and punctuation.
1.3 Fact 3: That I wasted these very minutes reading something I actually thought might be of use, or at the very LEAST - interesting.
As for your EXTREMELY interesting stories about riding experiences..... I dare say that if your real 'friends' don't care (probably just as RAD as you) - then nobody except other wankers care. Then again, I guess thats the demographic you're targeting. Well done :)
Thanks for nothing, 'brah!'
Post a Comment