Terrorists Quit Over Pay Dispute
February 14, 2009: In the south, the Moslem fighters of two rogue MILF commanders, are beginning to desert or surrender to the army. The MILF commanders made big promises to their followers, to encourage them to take part in the attacks on Christian villages. This began last August, and initially, hundreds of thousands of civilians were chased out of their villages, which the MILF men looted. But since the army quickly intervened, there's been less loot, and more getting shot at by soldiers. This is not what a lot of MILF guys signed up for and they are not happy about it. Even some of the lower ranking MILF commanders are quitting, disgusted with the lack of progress in peace negotiations, and the poverty brought on by the ceasefire (which has halted the plundering and looting the MILF typically used to maintain themselves).
Isn't that great, for a lot of reasons?
First of all, how does one get to be a MILF commander? It sounds like a pretty good job. Apparently, the pay is pretty bad, but you get to command MILFs. What's not to like about that?
Second, who knew we were at war with the MILFs? It sure adds a whole new dimension to that "Got MILF?" T-shirt, doesn't it? I'd rather stay on their good side, if I could help it.
Third, as the article notes, getting shot at "is not what a lot of MILF guys signed up for." I've got some suspicions about what a MILF guy signs up for, but what exactly is held out as an enlistment bonus, and can we talk about it on a family-oriented website like this one?
Fourth, because misery loves company, isn't it great to hear everybody else is having pay disputes? Maybe it's time for Congress to step in and cap terrorist leader pay.
What's that? You mean MILF means. . . Moro Islamic Liberation Front? Oh. Bummer. Major bummer. I thought it meant... Oh, nevermind.
Hmmm. This is my worst news analysis since I said I loved to see the Army of the Republic of Southern Eritrea engaged in maneuvers.