Thanksgiving is a tough holiday for people who don't like following the petit bourgeois traditions that serve to reinforce the patriarchal hegemony and founding myths of the imperial powers, or for people who don't like eating turkey, for health reasons or who object to eating turkey because politicos they dislike are in favor of it.
That's why I'm proposing some alternatives for the holiday table this year. One healthy alternative is fried worms on a stick with a nice peanut sauce.
Worms are healthy. You've never seen worms in your doctor's office or in the hospital, have you? No. Of course not. That would be ridiculous.
Worms subsist on a diet of rainwater, dirt, vegetation (especially hemp and hemp by-products), and more dirt, which is comparable to the diet eaten by top mountain bikers in the early 90's such as Tom Ritchey and Bob Roll. With references like that, I think there's a lot to commend fried worms on a stick as your main course at Thanksgiving. Warning: as any fisherman can tell you, the slaughter of worms as a food product is a grizzly sight. Do not give any television interviews about this dish if the worms are being prepared in the background, otherwise people might be put off.