Did a commute with extras for the training ride today. Gotta take it easy since I will try to kill myself tomorrow night at Wednesdays at Wakefield. (See y'all there, boys & girls).
Meanwhile, I'm going to wax Jeff Foxworthyish for a minute here and talk about the re-emergence of the BTGs, the BikeTrailGuys. There weren't that many of them out today amongst the swarming crowds of commuters and stray velopeople, but the ones that were out were doozies. Forthwith:
You may be a BTG if...
You are doing the chickenhead pedalmash just to pass that guy in a local velo club jersey, who appears to be doing an easy spin and chatting on the phone.
You are swerving back and forth more than Tomke's Porsche in an effort to hold some other commuter's wheel.
You step into the middle of the trail without looking, obstruct damn near the entire thing with your wide stance, look up, then freeze like a rabbit in the middle of heavy bike traffic.
You wheelsuck for 5 miles without asking, then swoop around at the end of the biketrail to sprint for the post that marks the end, y'know, to take the win. Dude, a standing sprint?
Yep. You just might be a BTG if you're sprinting to win the commute. [Applause].
You might be a BTG if you're a Japanese guy who, two years after it was first noted, still wears his helmet backward - square end forward - and commutes in a down jacket never mind the 80 degree temps.
If you nearly cause a huge crash trying to pass three Mommies, each pushing a double stroller... you just might be a BTG.
If you have an enormous backpack on, front and rear panniers, yet you're trying to race people on the bike trail... you might be a BTG.
If you're a reasonably fit looking guy in a Primal jersey and you're transparently riding behind three very cute but obviously under-age high school girls on hybrids going 4 MPH, then you are probably a BTG.
If you go to the family re-union to meet girls... who you can later drop on a Cap Crescent biking date the way Armstrong dropped Ulrich, you might be a BTG.
If you stand up and do a hard climbing effort on one of the tiny bridges because somebody just passed you like you were standing still... it's possible you're a BTG.
You might be a BTG if your bike squeaks like a cage full of chipmunks. Chipmunks blowing on tiny whistles, slapping tiny cymbals and rubbing their tiny fingernails on tiny chipmunk blackboards.
If you are riding a bike that costs more than a good top-of-the-line suit, but you can't break the speed limit on the Cap Crescent, except when you're riding in the downhill direction... you just might be a BTG.