Water Bottles: Hey, Who Hucked That At Me edition.

In honor of SoFauxPro, whose noveau blog savaged Walter's parenting habits and character, and Kyle's spelling and grammar, I've decided to roll out a special award recognizing the fresh, cool nature of his blog. That's right, it's the First Semi-Periodic Unholy Rouleur Fresh as a Summer's Eve Lifetime Achievement Award, for SoFauxPro. I think the picture pretty much explains everything.

URFAASELLA Lifetime Achievement Award

Thanks, SoFauxPro! You're like a breathe of fresh air, or a blast of cool water on a smelly fat guy's bottom in the bathroom of a dank French boarding house. With your meta-critique of blogging bikers, you've pointed out the little bits that others might have missed, digging deep, scratching away in hidden cracks and crevices, hunting for juicy, sticky little tidbits, the things that really stink about all of us. Thanks for sniffing out these little nuggets, chewing them over, digesting them, and letting all the rest of us know what you've been up to by flashing us a big web-based evil grin. I don't know what we'd be doing without you. Well, yes I do, actually. Not laughing at your ass, is what we'd be doing. And we wouldn't be cringing at your baseless attacks on other people's character. Cringe humor is okay though, as all the Sarah Silverman fans will confirm, and there's certainly nothing wrong with laughing at you. If you saw her joke in The Aristocrats about being raped by Uncle Leo, I'm sure you understand cringe humor. You're not l'enfant terrible, you're just ordinary terrible. Nevertheless, we are coming to think you you as a member of the MABRA Family, SoFauxPro, our own personal Uncle Leo, really.

So thanks for all the fish, FauxPro. Keep up the good work.

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In other news, International Olympics Committee chief Jacques Rogge's mouth moves, and Chinese government talking points come out. That's cool, they are a sovereign nation and they can do that, but the stuff about the Olympics being noble... well, Jesse Owens winning medals in Berlin was noble, but the political spectacle made of the games was cruelly ignoble. Whether or not to use the games as a political club against a nation intent on using the games as a political club is a really tough call, and I'm glad I don't have to make it.

Anyhow, Rogge says that athlete's participating in the games will be free to speak their opinions, but not to propagandize. Presented with several hypothetical situations relating to Tibet, Rogge declined explain where the line between personal opinion and propaganda would be drawn.

I have a few questions about that myself.

These guys have a pretty good discussion of some of the facts, though I don't endorse everything they say.

One wonders if an athlete praising the P.R.C. for its stellar human rights record would be ejected from the games for spreading propaganda, which we are told is banned...

I think Mr. Rogge is doing a pretty good job of running things at the IOC, in keeping with his role as an unelected, unaccountable bureaucrat. What, you expect him to do something other than look out for the interests of the bureaucracy? Hmmmm... surely you have not read many books discussing the organization of, and motivations of bureaucracies. Let's just say that as a general rule, they aren't strong on taking the bull by the horns and doing tough things that may not be in their own best interests.

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On a nicer note about the Olympics, British trackie Victoria Pendleton discusses cycling here. One of the interesting things about her career as a sprinter is that she had to overcome prejudice against her because of her tiny size - she notes that many of the women she competed against were 20 or 25 pounds heavier and much more muscular. I suppose Tom Boonen and Magnus Backstedt have faced similar issues. Power to weight is always the key figure for a cyclist, and the key skill is knowing how to ride so as to hide weaknesses, and take advantage of strengths. Sarah Pendleton can do that, and she's going to go to the Olympics as a result.

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Now for a bit of uplift, from Flann O'Brien, about one of my favorite topics - beer, which as we know is the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.


The Workman's Friend

When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When money's tight and hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say you need a change,
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

In time of trouble and lousey strife,
You have still got a darlint plan
You still can turn to a brighter life -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.