What if my bike re-wrote some of my favorite movies?
The Untouchables: “They put one of yours on hybrid, you put one of theirs on a fixie. They put one of yours on a Huffy, you put one of theirs on a Magna. They give one of yours a Sora, you give one of theirs an Alivio. It’s the
Caddyshack: “So the Lama tells me, on my deathbed, I’ll get total enlightenment, and a set of Zip 404s. So at least I got that going for me. Which is nice.”Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy: What? You pooped in the weeds? And you ate the whole box of Gu packets? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your lycra and we hit the trainer for four hours."
Bull Durham: I believe in the Church of Bicycle. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 links in a properly sized Wipperman chain. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us."
Glengarry Glen Ross: "Put that Accellerade down. That Accellerade's for sprinters."
The Big Lebowski: “F*** it, Dude. Let’s go biking.”
Yeah, that's some pretty dismal shit. But do you know how frickin' looped your mind gets when you're riding 14 miles an hour, for over an hour, going up a boring ass biketrail hill? The weather was a little sketchy, gray and windy. Very few interesting looking people were out using the trails, mostly just a bunch of commuters. And the trip was slow. Did I mention that?
Frankly, I think I deserve a medal for not grabbing some hapless commuter's wheel and setting fire to his panniers, just to break up the boredom.