Don't get me wrong. I like my job, love being an attorney (other than the constant smell of brimstone, the way flames scorch the edges of my legal pad, and the way the boss always carries a pitchfork and menaces us if we fail to harvest our quota of fresh souls) but I'm having second thoughts.
It turns out there's another way to make a living. According to the London Daily Mail, there's a big demand in Hollywood for "Cleavage Buffers." No, I'm not talking about big diamond pendants that Dollly Parton wears when she's in a low-cut dress, or the damping devices that she certainly has built into her, um, suspension equipment. It seems actresses actually have somebody buff up their cleavage prior to awards ceremonies and other big public appearances.
Cleavage buffers... who knew? It sounds like great work if you can get it. Not sure the wife would be too keen on the idea though, but I'm not sure it would piss her off any worse than my bike racing debacles.