I was trying to take it easy - my right wrist is still buggered from the big crash at Patapsco three weeks ago, and my training plan has me going easy right now. Near as I can figure, going easy on a single speed MTB means spin easy on the flats, coast down the hills, ride the hills at the pace the bike dictates. So that's what I was doing, takin' er easy, and making sure everybody was kind of having fun. Good plan until we got through the one little technical loop with the boxes, drops, skinnies and whatnot. I had no problem with the purely technical stuff and was just coasting out at decent speed onto the main trail, when some random stick apparently got lodged in my front wheel, probably between the fork and some spokes.
Down goes Jimbo! Down goes Jimbo!
/Howard Cosell Voice
The Death Toll wasn't too bad - re-strained my wrist, skinned and bruised both knees pretty good. Nothing major but it slowed me down for the rest of the day. At 10:00, I decided to punch out. I didn't feel great, and we had started out at 8:00 - a late start for an Old Married Guy. I wanted to ride more but part of living a balanced life involves not doing obvious things to throw it all out of balance. Either way, I had to get home to Sainted Wife, who wasn't feeling too great, and in fact was real bummered all weekend long. She's doing better now but I didn't regret cutting the ride short - something about crashing just knocks the enthusiasm right out of you.
In the parking lot, on the way outI bumped into a guy I chatted with at a cross race a couple months ago - Kent - along with Gwadz. They were just headin' for some shreddin'. BTW, Gwadz may be my favorite local blogger... I don't know why, but he just puts me in a Zen state.
Apropo of that, I decided to google up "crash monkey" and use the first photo that came up as the theme photo for this post. How lucky was it then, that I found a picture of myself, communing with my own personal crash monkey? Damned lucky, I think - maybe not a coincidence when you consider how often I've consulted my Crash Monkey lately.
What's that? Oh yeah, the yellow jacket I'm wearing in the picture - it's a new commuter jacket I'm beta testing for Performance Bikes. It's got 50% more Fung Shui than a normal commuter jacket, and 90% more Shao Lin Ass-Whuppin' content woven right in. It's comfortable, plus it is rain, wind, and Samurai-sword resistant, with pockets for your throwing stars, kubotans, and a handful of rice. It's just the thing for riding to work in bad weather, winter endurance training, or leading a band of ragtag peasants in ejecting seven rogue warriors and an evil warlord from your village. I like it better than my Assos FukYuJack jacket*, which all my friends *swear* is a knockoff. Anyhow... The Performance jacket is quite a bargain, it will sell for $59.95 - like all Performance products that's a sale price, and this jacket will always be substantially discounted from its normal retail price. Because Performance just cares for you, Babe.
*Seriously - have you ever considered the meaning behind the name that Assos attaches to their nearly-$600 riding jacket? Ever thought for even a minute maybe they are making fun of some people's willingness to shell out the price of a decent entry-level bike, for a jacket you can only wear a couple times a year in the worst weather? That maybe they might boost the price to $900 next year and call it the JoaksonYuJack? Then again, if you wear ASSos, maybe this is the kind of thought that never occurs to you at all. But what do I know. I sometimes ride in a Nashbar windbreaker, which I fondly call the FugMeJack.
6 comments:
I guess we'll call it even then. I have some ASShOlES stuff. Seriously, a lot of it is worth the money. Well, not retail money. Ebay money. Stuff sells for half price on Ebay. Never worn (or wanted) the summer stuff but as Steevo pointed out to me, you'd probably pay like a $1 a ride to be warmer, therefore I have tights and a jacket.
Pretty good link on BKW today regarding ASSoS, too.
I thought that photo was of the Grinch in the middle of the secret handshake with a monkey's uncle. Although I've heard from different sources that you're either the Grinch or a monkey's uncle or both (or neither, but you smell like one or the other).
i was bummed to not see you at the manbra promoter's meeting.
one of my buddies has a ton of assos stuff. he says it let the world know he's rich and good looking.
we all laugh. I heart that guy.
respect
faticus
Chris - words of wisdom, to be sure. Anteresting that Radio Freddy's take on Assos is similar to mine - lovely stuff, but so costly that it's almost offensive.
Mike - no, that's me and my crash monkey. I visit him weekly to get secret crash instructions. Mostly he just screams and flings his own shit at me, so my I try to work screaming and poo flinging into my crashes. The screaming has been pretty easy lately.
Marc - I'm sorry I missed ManBra too. A crosser needs support, I think. What better than ManBra? Or the BRO, as I call it - the Better Racing Organization. I trust Ken represented for the Squadra? He did such a kick-ass job with the Tacchino last fall that I've had to lower my goals from Chief Instigator, to Evil Henchman of the event, which I will be again next year. Speaking of which, what is it going to take to get you down for the Tacchino, so D.C. area roadies can administer a 60 minute long dirt-based threshold wattage test to you?
1. That was a great ride on Saturday. We ended up doing 3 hours because...well, I won't lay blame here (Battan). Why did Mel and Judd keep saying they have to get me to Gambil? they had bad things (read "ass kicking") in mind for me, I'm thinking.
2. I have one pair of ASSos windstop bib tights that I bought at non-retail (on the theory that they were worth the money). Not! They are mediums and they are......TOO SMALL. How small are the Swiss that my little thighs are too big for a medium. Plus they're not that warm. It's a fascinating question, though, as I ride my expensive (didn't pay retail) bike, why I am so cheap about tights. Chris is absolutely right that the question should be how much per ride would I pay to keep warm (and the answer lies in the $300 Sidi Toaster foot warmers, because that's where I freeze)
Thanks for coming out.
3 hours anywhere with hills on a SS MTB is a long-ish ride - my legs were totally up for it but the wrist and sick wife, not so much. Dave is beastly in a quiet and unassuming way. I'm so glad you enjoyed it - Rosaryville is a supremely pleasant workout, with just enough technical to make it interesting for us dirt NooBs.
BTW, that Judd sure can ride on dirt, can't he?
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