I was the star in the corner,
Cookin’ your legs like Chris Horner,
Ridin’ real hard up on the inside,
I went down in a nasty low-side.
Skinned up my knees like Lewinski,
Screamin’ like a hopped up jet ski,
Hoping not to crash on the next ride,
Next time I’m gonna pass on the outside.
Cut like a shrimp at Benihana,
It's like I crashed my Suzuki Katana.
I’m watchin’ from the curb with my shorty,
Easin’ the pain wit an ice cold forty.
But I’m comin’ back, betta than eva,
Like Bond James Bond, I never say never.
‘Cuz I’m the fat man with mad bike skillz,
And Gros has me workin’ on the handlin’ drillz.
So pimps and hustlers better step aside,
I’m the wide boy on the carbon ride,
Breakin’ some legs, takin’ a toll,
Brave Soldier and Tegaderm is how I roll.
Yeah, it sucks. But like my racing, my hip-hop rhymes are the best a Racing Age 40 white boy novice can do.
- Random PowerTap thought: The PT encourages peddling efficiency. I noticed that when I was pedaling squares - like hammering at high speed in a big gear on the flat and stomping it - that the wattage readout bounced up and down wildly. 250, 450, 299, 505, and so forth. This may have averaged out to perhaps 330 watts, but within a minute my HR had climbed up from recovery, to tempo. When I concentrated on smooth pedaling, including a 'wiping your feet' motion on the bottom of the stroke, and smoothly pulling up with the hip flexors, I could pull the same or nearly the same average wattage and move at the same speed, but without the HR blasting through the roof. I pulled 275 - 300 up the Cap Crescent, and the HR remained in zone 2 until I reached the little bridge on the top. This aligns with my experience in races, which tells me that when an acceleration goes (like an attack, or sudden speedup of the pack), it's best to ramp up the speed gradually unless the initial move on the front of the pack must be covered. It's not the speed that kills you - it is the maximal and near-maximal efforts that burn up your matches. Smoothness and efficiency equals durable, lasting speed. Hey, why am I telling you guys this? You're the competition.
- That's enough. Really.