Had a nice two hour ride with Jon this morning. He talked about having those moments where you know you're a biker. His was being able to put together a decent toolkit for a ride, from stuff just laying around the house. This got me to thinking...
You know you're a biker when...
- Your wife asks, "Dear, do you have a bad stomach flu... oh, nevermind. That smell is just your knee warmers. You shouldn't leave them out like that."
- You attempt to give the hand signal to slow down when you approach a wreck on the highway. But you're driving your car.
- Your wife says "baby needs some new shoes," and you immediately reply, "what's wrong with the Gatorskins?"
- Your friends all go to bed at ten o'clock and get up at 5:30, and they aren't all in the Army or an old-age home.
- You select vacations based on whether you can ride there, or perhaps to there.
- When your fondest dream isn't a weekend in a Roman hotel with Penelope Cruz, a case of Barolo and some baby lotion; rather it's a week riding in the Italian Alps with Andy Hampsten's wife, who is an excellent bike tour guide, I am told.
- When people ask you what you think about the problems with doping in the pros, and you talk about EPO, synthetic testosterone and Dick Pound, rather than human growth hormone, Dianobol, and Barry Bonds.
- When the best day ever off the bike bums you out far worse than the worst day ever on it.
- When you have two legitimate options for "rain bikes" and deciding which one to ride is so tough (because you love both) that you just about missed your last ride in the rain - even though you kind of like riding in the rain.
- When you are worried that your 'cross bike will have hurt feelings because you haven't ridden it in the dirt in four months.
- When you can choose between buying more bikes or having more kids, and you get a vasectomy.
- When you like the feel and aesthetic of shaved roadie legs (your own) so much that you keep doing it, even though it's winter, you won't be wearing shorts for three months, and it's really cold out.
- When you have a choice of writing about anything in the world, but you choose to write about bikes, time and time again.
When did you realize you had become a biker?
2 comments:
The second last one strikes a chord.
I was racing and shaving when I first met my wife. When the bike riding tapered away to nothing due to jobs and mortgages and kids I mentioned not having to shave my legs and I was (allegedly jokingly) threatened with a divorce if I stopped shaving my legs.
That was 1993. I continued to shave my legs while riding between 200 and 1000 miles a year. But then last year I started racing again and while it took close to $2500 to get my 3 bikes back in shape, my legs were already there (visually at least).
BIg Mike
Mike, I suspect your mother wondered why her baby was kicking inside the womb at a nice, rhythmic 90 RPM cadence.
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